IN THE ‘LOOKING GLASS’ - An Opportunity to Reflect on Parenting
The busyness of life, and of school terms complicated by a pandemic, can make reflecting on parenting challenging. The upcoming long weekends and a slight change in pace, which can be afforded by school holidays, may allow you time to actively review your priorities as a parent.
While there isn't a set recipe for raising successful children, extensive research over many years has pointed to several factors that predict success.
According to the research, parents of successful children:
- Develop relationships through quality time, unconditional love, and emotional warmth.
- Talk with and listen to their children, and spend time with them.
- Allow children to take the lead and make decisions in easy or moderately difficult tasks.
- Establish clear boundaries and an understanding of natural consequences.
- Teach children social skills, involve them in social action, and teach self-control.
- Have high (but reasonable) expectations and ambitions for their future.
- Value effort over avoiding failure, teach ‘grit’, and let children fail.
- Model low stress.
- Understand the importance of good nutrition, eating and sleeping habits.
- Read to their children often, and encourage reading for pleasure.
- Moderate TV, social media and computer games.
- Engage children in chores.
It would be a worthwhile exercise to place each of these priorities under a microscope.
Perhaps consider one or two each week to investigate their effect for your family.
“In a nutshell, positive parents support a child’s healthy growth and inner spirit by being loving, supportive, firm, consistent, and involved. Such parents go beyond communicating their expectations, but practise what they preach by being positive role models for their children to emulate.” (Positive Psychology)
When it comes to parenting, the little things matter, and they matter a lot.
“Take the concept of quality time, for example. These days many parents are so stressed about having quality time with their children that we schedule countless activities and bonding experiences. Meanwhile, science shows "quality time" just means quiet moments where you really listen to and respond to your child. Which is, of course, just the sort of thing you crowd out when you're frantically driving all day between soccer practice and cello lessons.” (Inc.com)
So perhaps as things slow down a little over the holiday break, or at least over the upcoming public holidays, you will have time to reflect on what is important to you as a parent and as a family, and protect extra quality time together.
“Warm, loving and supportive parents feed a child’s inner spirit while empowering them with the knowledge and tools necessary to approach life as a fully capable individual.” (Positive Psychology)
Thank you for your ongoing support this term. I wish you every blessing for a special Easter break, as you spend time with friends and family.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Peter Grimes | Headmaster
References:
Link - Business-Insider / how-parents-set-their-kids-up-for-success
Link - Inc / jessica-stillman / scientists-followed-thousands-of-kids-for-70-years
