Big Tech and its ‘Big Shock’ to Childhood’ - Part 3
Its Impact on Socialisation in the ‘real’ world of everyday childhood
“The digital revolution has fundamentally altered childhood, with the rise of smartphones and social media. Children and adolescents are now growing up in a world where their social interactions and self-worth are increasingly mediated by screens.“
Author of ‘The Anxious Generation’, Jonathan Haidt, terms this ‘the biggest mental health crisis for children in all of known history”.
Human evolution rewards those who learn the most which is why children copy others. Conformity is valuable because it’s a safe strategy, especially for newcomers. This means that if most children have social media accounts, yours will want one too. The problem with social media is that it overwhelms the user with data points (like posts, likes, and comments). Haidt describes social media platforms as “the most efficient conformity engines ever invented”.
‘Attunement refers to a child’s need to connect. Children need to connect with other children because when they do, they synchronise their movements and emotions’.
Face-to-face rituals that require physical interactions are a strong part of human interaction. These simple interactions help children develop essential social skills. Smartphones, especially with social media apps and messaging platforms, often replace in-person socialisation. Children may spend more time texting or chatting online, which can result in fewer opportunities to practice and develop essential social skills like reading body language, tone, and other non-verbal cues.
This shift can lead to a sense of social isolation or difficulty connecting with peers in real-world settings, as the depth of conversation and emotional connection can be much richer in person. It might also prevent children from learning essential skills like negotiation, empathy, and compromise, which are typically learned through more personal interactions.
Social media platforms accessed via iPhones expose children to constant comparisons with others, and the possibility of misinterpreting communication, and online bullying. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and anxiety, especially when children measure their worth based on likes, shares, or the idealised images others present online. The pressure to maintain a "perfect" online persona can make children feel disconnected from their authentic selves, leading to increased social anxiety both online and offline.
The use of smartphones late into the night disrupts sleep patterns, which affects mood regulation and emotional well-being. Sleep deprivation may make children more irritable, stressed, and socially withdrawn. Prolonged screen time can also reduce attention spans, making it harder for children to focus on conversations, schoolwork, or social interactions in person.
Technology use, especially social media, is often a joyless, mindless habit, and the connections created as part of it are often shallow. Digital interactions are designed to be addictive. The result of this addiction, especially to social media, reduces the time children spend in face-to-face social situations, impacting their ability to form healthy, deep relationships, to be the best version of themselves, and to live a satisfied and fulfilled life.
It is helpful as parents to be reminded about four “foundational” reforms Jonathan Haidt believes, if implemented, “will turn around the rising rates of mental illness and (enable us to) raise much healthier kids”. They include:
- No smartphones before 14: Give only basic phones with limited apps and no internet browser
- No social media before 16: Let kids get through the most vulnerable period of brain development
- Phone-free schools: Store away any personal devices that can send or receive texts to free up their attention
- More independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world: To naturally develop social skills and reduce anxiety.
While iPhones and other smartphones can offer some benefits in terms of staying connected, they also present significant and dangerous challenges for children's socialisation. The key is finding a balance between digital and real-world interactions, setting sensible and firm boundaries as parents, encouraging healthy device usage, and promoting regular opportunities for face-to-face engagement.
Peter Grimes | Headmaster
References:
‘The Anxious Generation’ (2024) Jonathan Haidt (social psychologist and Professor of Ethical Leadership at New York University).
