Towards One Big Happy Family
It has been so exciting to have Dr Justin Coulson engaged with Mosman Prep this week, through a Year 5 and 6 presentation, and an Empowering Parents event.
Justin spoke to our Year 5 and 6 boys about the ‘Secret to Happiness’, highlighting firstly that we shouldn’t expect to be perpetually happy, rather being cognisant that emotions come in waves.
The secret is learning how to ‘ride those waves’!
He revealed his ‘Five key ingredients for happiness’ as:
- Connection - The importance of being seen, heard, valued and cared for. Investing time in relationships and developing trust are essential ingredients.
- Be active - Significant physical and emotional health benefits come from being active.
- Take notice - Take time to be present - to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel.
- Learn to do hard things - Understand that hard things will often be good for you, and will grow you, and help you to be more satisfied in life.
- Give - Helping, serving, and contributing to the lives of others builds happiness in others and in ourselves.
A powerful activity for the boys involved them gathering in small groups to discuss what connection meant. Justin then highlighted that, as with every school who engaged with the activity, some boys were left on the fringes (not included in a group).
After pointing this out, Justin gave the boys a second discussion topic.
The change was dramatic, as we watched the boys proactively include everyone (he revealed that this was done better by our boys than in any school he had seen). Justin challenged them to take this ‘connection awareness’ into wider school and community settings.
During our Empowering Parents Evening, Justin revealed ‘3 Secrets to a Happier Family’, being:
- Loving connection is being emotionally available for our children, responsive and present for a time each day. The more detached you are, the needier they will become. Our children need to know we hear them, we see them, and we value them.
- Limits involve clear boundaries, but also teaching, guiding and instruction - not punishment. Our goal is to help our children not hurt them, and not to make them feel worse about themselves. Also they often don't have the vocabulary and skills to reflect on what they have done, and to choose a different approach next time. Be prepared to explore (the backstory), explain (unpack), and empower (skill up). Collaboratively develop a solution for now and the future.
- Having fun! Don’t take life too seriously. It's going to be ok, and your children are going to be ok. They will be happy and successful if they know they are loved. Be playful and smile, even when life is stressful.
Justin went to great lengths to reminded us that we won’t always get parenting right, and that it is important to be kind to ourselves in this regard.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
Peter Grimes | Headmaster