Chores ….. Playing his part in Family and Community ….. = Paying a dividend in his daily living
“Children who were required to do self-care and other-care chores were in fact more likely to exhibit better academic performances and problem solving skills.” La Trobe University 2022
In my Messenger article some time ago, I wrote about the benefits for our boys as they engage with household chores.
New research has confirmed that engagement in such activities can:
- increase feelings of autonomy
- improve prosocial behaviours
- lead to greater life satisfaction
- Improve child cognitive development - particularly executive functioning.
‘Executive functions are commonly defined as: working memory; the ability to monitor and manipulate temporary information; inhibition, the ability to inhibit automatic responses or suppress irrelevant information to focus on a task; and shifting, the ability to move focus between tasks’.
Steve Biddulph highlights that the media often attacks children's mental health, telling them that self-esteem is about how you look and what you own.
Being able to cook a meal, iron a shirt, look after a pet, mow enough lawns to buy a computer, or hold down a part-time job are all sources of instructable pride. We should give our kids lots of chances to experience their capabilities.
Dr Arne Rubenstein states that by the time your son leaves home, he needs certain life skills that will enable him to function well in the world and form healthy long-term relationships. These skills directly affect his well-being. If he doesn't acquire these skills - for whatever reason - he is likely to struggle. Arne identifies cooking and cleaning amongst other skills. (p163)
Research also indicates that children who help around the house are more likely to offer help in other situations than children who simply participate in their own self care.
What could it look like?
The following tips can be helpful in establishing chores:
- Find a good time to discuss doing the job or the fact that they are not doing them! Make sure you have time and that your son’s emotions are not elevated.
- Introduce humour.
- Explain why a job is really important to the family and that you really need the help.
- Ask them for suggestions about various jobs.
- Praise positive contributions, being specific and focusing on effort (growth mindset).
You're inviting and empowering your child, not guilting and burdening them. However, some possibilities include:
- invite toddlers to put napkins on the table
- three year olds to set places
- four year olds can match socks
- five year olds can water plants
- six year olds are ready to clear the table
- seven year olds can help in the garden
- eight year olds to fold laundry.
Interestingly, there was no significant correlation found for pet-care chores.
Abigail Norfleet James suggests ‘children need to feel that they are part of the family, and having chores helps that attachment. Parents who require this kind of involvement know that it takes time to learn to be responsible and that the responsible person is happy’.
Have a fabulous and safe break with family and friends!
Peter Grimes | Headmaster
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
References:
La Trobe University - Melbourne: Link - Latrobe/childrens-chores-improve-brain-function
Inc. Link - Inc/kids-who-do-chores-are-more-successful-adults-according-to-science-theres-just-1-catch
Steve Biddulph – Raising Boys in the 21st Century
Dr Arne Rubenstein - The Making of Men - Raising boys to be happy, healthy and successful.
Mr Peter Grimes, Headmaster
