Boys are Essentially Relational Learners
Research shows that constructive teacher-student relationships have a large and positive impact on students’ academic results, student general achievement, and wellbeing.
In the early years of secondary school, one of my sons disliked mathematics and lacked confidence. His mathematics teacher in the senior years managed to connect with him, build trust and respect, and transform his perception of mathematics, as well as his self-confidence. The result was mathematics becoming one of his favourite subjects in which he attained one of the top HSC course marks.
As I highlighted in last week’s Messenger article, research is clear that boys will benefit enormously from a different approach to teaching and learning than girls.
However, student/teacher relationships are the most critical element in boys’ education.
When teachers become truly aware of a boy’s backstory, they can make connections before judging, build trust, and influence engagement and achievement. Boys determine when they will engage, making that influence, through relationship, so crucial.
“I define ‘connection’ as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Dr Brené Brown
Developing shared respect and walking with boys is very powerful. This requires forging a relationship, maintaining it, and perhaps repairing it. Boys thrive in an educational environment where they first establish positive, trusting relationships with teachers whose high standards and subject mastery they value.
In this reciprocity of relationships, where teachers are forthright and caring, boys also develop the confidence to drop their guard and give of themselves. The combination of powerful relationships and boys only education empowers boys to speak their emotions, to reveal their interior selves, and to be much more open in terms of who they are and what they feel.
This relationship-based education model not only enhances the learning process, it also contributes to a boy’s growing sense of belonging to his class, his team, and his school.
Parents at Mosman Prep often comment to me about the fine quality of our teachers. At the heart of this quality is their ability to connect with our boys.
Our teachers are committed to the centrality of relationship in their daily practice with the boys by:
- Operating under a flexible firmness
- Honouring doubt and uncertainty
- Sharing milestones in their own lives
- Being patient in building relationship
- Committing to one-on-one time
- Ensuring our boys feel they are seen, known, and matter
- Being quick to recognize and to praise.
“Holding high standards without providing a warm environment is merely harsh. A warm environment without high standards lacks backbone. But if you can create a combination of high standards with a warm and supportive environment it will benefit all students, not just the high achievers.” Lee Jussim
“Students don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Adapted from Theodore Roosevelt
Peter Grimes | Headmaster
References:
International Boys’ Schools Coalition
Link - theibsc/why-a-boys-school
Link - sec-ed/building-positive-student-relationships
